I get a lot of time to think when I'm travelling, I mainly think about why I'm doing this and I'm not always entirely sure. My long winded explanation speaks for itself, as it all sounds like more of an excuse than a reason these days. I find myself looking for sympathy and praise for my efforts but also being annoyed at the lack of understanding for it too. I wish I could just say it's because I want to - like Billie Piper said so well in nineteen-ninety-whatnot - but I don't know if I do? If I were to write down what I want, what I really really want then I'm not so sure it would involved 360-odd miles of travel a week. For a start it's not helping do my bit for the o-zone is it? That's the global thingy-majig not the 90's pop show starring Toby Anstis. Yeah I don't know why I keep referencing that decade either.
I want, a routine, the same bed most nights, to see my partner more than 50% of the year, my own business, to work from home, to cycle down the Thames and breathe in that clean fishy air, to make things, to create, to create things that make people happy, I want to be part of something beautiful.
For any of this to happen, I would need to think about me and only me. That's where it gets tricky.
I'm living in London, the place I've always wanted to live and at the moment I'm not living in London. Which is a waste; and life is too short for such a disposal of good culture on my doorstep. It's time to make some decisions and be decisive and firm, it's time to do this thing.
It's now or never.